Where have I been?

Wow it's been ages since I last blogged! WARNING this will most likely be a long ass post of randomness. So to start let me just tell you things have been a bit hectic as of late. For those who don't know I also have a full time day job I'm at M-F. Not my favorite place in the world but hey, it helps when it comes to cash flow. Things have been so busy at my day job I haven't been able to really get into the swing of the season as of yet. Life as well has been a bit of a roller coaster as of late. My anxiety and depression has flared up big time and it's been rough to really push myself. I've struggled since I was 9 years old and everyday I learn something new about myself and what triggers my anxiety. Lately the small things will push me off the edge and I don't even realize that it's bothered me until I'm having the starting signs of a panic attack. Today was one of those days. I am definetely struggling today. So my coping mechanism for the day is

A) listen to music I love

B) write, write, and write

I write a lot even if it's just in my notepad on my phone. I will dot down poems and thoughts. I think writing is extremely therapeutic. Sometimes I can't figure out what I'm feeling until I take the time to start writing things down and than BAM! I figure it out. Work has also been overwhelming me, it's not something I love doing so for me it's a struggle to wake up everyday and go to work. I feel split because I want to jump into doing photography full time but when I moved to this town I realized that people here rather pay $25 for crap than pay $$$ for quality. So full time turned into part time, and a full time day job. The struggle is fucking real people! And for those who have lived their whole lives living and breathing art it's hard to go from an artsy life to a boring desk job. I'm trying to figure out a happy medium between it all. I think I'm going to also start an agenda that I carry around not just for scheduling and writing down daily tasks but journaling. I use to have a journal I wrote in all through middle-high school and than stopped. I think it'll be good to get back into it. Well I say this all the time but I'm going to make an effort to blog more often. I need to. Well I'm going to actually get back to work and make shit happen. Till next time ✌🏼